Archives for August 2014

Stop Doing Things That Aren’t Good For You

Stop Doing Things That Aren't Good For YouI ate Kentucky Fried Chicken twice when I was younger and threw up immediately afterwards both times. I always joked that my body didn’t agree with one of the 11 herbs and spices. I never tried it again and have never been tempted to. I know KFC is bad for me, so it’s not an option. 

We often do things that aren’t good for us, sometimes repeatedly. Why don’t we stop? For me, eating at KFC was easy to stop. I know the pattern – eat KFC, throw up. I had a physical reaction that I didn’t want to go through again. But, we often put ourselves in the same emotional patterns. We can’t stop the cycle for some reason.
If you threw up every time you made a bad decision, I guarantee you that you wouldn’t make the same mistake again. The pattern would be broken. But, because the pain isn’t physical we’ll continue to do what we always do.
Here are 3 ways to stop doing things that aren’t good for you:
1) Act as if your life depended on your decision to stop. I remember a story my grandpa used to tell about how he decided to stop smoking and drinking. He said he went in for a checkup and the doctor told him to quit or he’d die. My grandpa quit that day and didn’t have a cigarette or drop of alcohol for the remaining 25 plus years of his life.
If you think something will kill you, you’ll think about it differently. If you’re scared enough, you’ll stop.
2) Take decision-making away from yourself. We often have too much time and too many choices to make good decisions. Often, we let our emotions control our lives and we end up making poor decisions. There’s a reason why those “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets are so popular. It takes the decision away from you and gives it to Jesus.
If you follow a plan or path set up by a coach, mentor, or hero, you’ll make decisions based on what they’d do. Plan so there’s no room for deviation. We often suffer from self-inflicted anxiety because we put ourselves in the same bad situations. When we’re confronted with a situation we panic and think, “What should I do?” Follow some else’s plan and you’ll be amazed how that helps you.
3) Trust your gut. You know deep down when something is wrong. You sense it. Later you’ll say to yourself, “I knew it.” Instead of waiting until after the fact, realize what your senses are telling you in the moment they’re kicking in. When you sense something, walk away. It’s not over-reacting when you feel uneasy, it’s your body telling you to watch out based on experience. Listen to it.
Has anything else worked for you? How long did it take for you to give up something bad? It’s not easy, find someone to be a cheerleader. Better yet, be a cheerleader for someone else. Helping them may just end up helping you.

Don’t Lose Sight of the Real Heroes

 

Medal of Honor Ryan Pitts

Photo courtesy of Department of Defense (Defense.gov)

I was watching the ABC Nightly News a few weeks ago when they ran a story on Medal of Honor recipient Ryan Pitts. During the segment, they mentioned that he was one of nine living recipients. There was footage of him with the President and of him standing at a podium, but nothing he said was broadcast. He had to go through an incredible ordeal in Afghanistan to get it and there was nothing from him. His words didn’t mean anything apparently.   

A few minutes later they ran a story on “Weird Al” Yankovic. He was interviewed. His words were more important than those of a Medal of Honor recipient. Frankly, it was embarrassing. “Weird Al” was a bigger story than Medal of Honor recipient Ryan Pitts.
A few days later, Ryan Pitts was on the Late Show with David Letterman where he got to share his experience. I somehow knew I could count on Dave. Nine of Pitts’ fellow soldiers did not make it back from the mission they were on. As you would expect a hero to do, Pitts downplayed his role and his injuries.
Pitts was in Milwaukee recently to share his story at the VA Hospital. He was also interviewed on the CBS 58 News during his visit. Locally he was a bigger story than he was nationally.
I live in a country where I can do what I want, thanks to people like Pitts and everyone who came before him. But, do I spend my time on important things? Or do I waste my time on trivial things that don’t matter? I’m not saying we shouldn’t have our guilty pleasures, we all need something to help us unwind and just enjoy life. We need to recognize when it’s all too much so we don’t lose sight of the real heroes in our lives. You might even know some personally. Honor them if you get the chance.

Robin Williams and The Artist’s Soul

Robin Williams and the Artist's SoulThe death of Robin Williams has deeply saddened me. I feel sorry for his family, and for those of us affected by his work. But, I mostly feel sorry for him. Artists like Robin Williams give, and give, and give, and yet he didn’t feel like he got enough back out of life to live. 

We take for granted that artists are there to inspire us, make us laugh, make us cry, help us fall in love, and get over falling out of love. They give up more than we know. The artist’s soul is fed by giving, by creating, by going where most of us fear going. They are open and honest and feel and experience life to the extremes. We love where they take us.
Artists are in a spotlight that few of us will be under. Sure, artists get fortune and fame, but as we’ve seen over and over again; that is not what life is about. That does not provide true happiness and fulfillment.

I remember when I read about the suicide of Del Shannon back in 1990. That hit me hard, though at the time I wasn’t familiar with his body of work except for “Runaway.” I thought it was tragic that someone who had given of himself so freely couldn’t find satisfaction or happiness.
I have felt the same way with other artists that have ended their lives, but Williams’ death hurts much more because of the amount of joy he brought to me. Reading the countless tributes, I know he affected others just as much. There’s a sense of guilt with that as well. He gave so much, but I couldn’t do anything for him, like I could do anything for him since I didn’t know him personally. It’s funny how we just take, and think our interaction is complete with the purchase of a ticket or CD.
What I can do is admire and respect artists who give everything to entertain us. When someone exhibits behavior we question, we have no idea what that person is dealing with, we can appreciate their life without judgment. I can love those around me and encourage them through this journey called life.
I feel like Robin Williams was a comet that could only shine for so long before burning out. He gave what he could, and it was time to move on. He will truly be missed and I hope he has found what he was looking for.

Do It Today. Do It Now.

Do It Today. Do It Now.Over the weekend, I made a quick trip up to Sparta to meet my 6-week-old nephew. I wanted to be able to see him while he was still a baby, plus it’s been a while since I’d seen my niece, sister, brother-in-law, and my parents. But, I had a limited amount of time that worked in my schedule. I had a day to visit since I had some other things I needed to do in Milwaukee.

I could have pushed the trip off and waited until I had more time. I spoke with someone about a job on Friday, sent some samples of my work and said she’d be in touch with me early the next week. If I had made my plans based on the fact that I could miss a call from her I would’t have made the trip. She didn’t call while I was gone and I would have wasted the opportunity to visit with my family.
How much of life do we put off in anticipation of something else happening? I’m starting to learn that it’s better to just do what’s important at the moment and adjust to anything that comes up later.
A great example of this is when my wife and I took a trip to Paris and London. We had an hour before we had to board our train to Paris. I thought about just hanging out, but the British Library was a few blocks down the street. There were some hand-written lyrics from the Beatles I wanted to see, so I thought I’d give it a go.
The first thing I saw when I entered the room were pages from Leonardo da Vinci’s notebook. I saw Lewis Carroll’s diary that had the beginnings of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, scores by Mozart and Handel in their own hand, the Gutenberg Bible, oh, yeah, and this little thing called the Magna Carta! Not to mention that Beatles’ lyrics. The amount of history I took in, in just an hour was amazing. If I had thought that I can’t possibly do anything in an hour I would have missed that entire experience.
We need to put as much life as we can into life. We can’t wait for the perfect time or more time. We each have 24 hours a day to work with. Our days are limited. We need to use them wisely.
Start with whatever amount of time you can. If you want to write a book – write an hour a day. If you want to lose weight – workout for a 30 minutes a day. If you want to catch up with a friend – make a phone call and chat for 15 minutes. No amount of time is ever wasted. You don’t need a month’s worth of time in order to do something. Do it today. Do it now. Spend the next five minutes writing down what you’ve put off for too long. And then spend an hour doing it!