Archives for February 2014

Resistance and Growing Pains

February 25, 2014 by 2 Comments
Resistance and Growing PainsI like stability and predictability in my life. It’s comfortable and safe. But, when I push myself to do things I’ve never done before or venture into the unknown, it offers tremendous growth. I can tell when I’m changing, pushing myself into new territory, because I feel uncomfortable, more tense, and also scared.
The exciting thing about this is that I feel like I’m on the edge of something huge. I can tell I’m growing. Growing pains are never easy but absolutely necessary to achieve major breakthroughs.
It’s difficult to keep fighting through all the discomfort. It would be easy at that point to say, “to hell with it.” Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, calls this struggle resistance. This is exactly when you need to keep working at it, because resistance is the signal that tells you something important is about to happen. Don’t succumb to the thought of waiting, or putting it off for another day.
There’s a quote of Pressfield’s that I have at my desk, written on a piece of paper; “Did you meet resistance today?” It’s a good reminder. There are so many distractions, so many things trying to throw us off our game. But, if we work through those challenges we’ll be surprised that that’s where the growth happens. So, we have to step up and do it, even when we don’t feel like it.
At that moment when you need to toughen and keep moving forward you also have to make yourself vulnerable. You have to open up to that fact that you don’t know what will happen. That’s the paradox; being tough and vulnerable simultaneously.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I can’t wait to see what it is. For now, I’m going to push myself to keep going. There’s something right on the other side of these growing pains that could turn out to be something special.
Have you ever done something outside of your comfort zone? What were the results when you did that? Were you better off for having done it?
Filed Under: Motivation Tagged With: ,

4 Lessons from the Olympics

February 18, 2014 by Leave a Comment
4 Lessons from the OlympicsWhen the world’s best compete against each other there’s so much emotion, drama, and heart that comes out, that’s why I love watching athletes perform. You can’t help but get drawn in. It’s what makes the Olympics so special.
In a way we know what it’s like to compete, because we know what it’s like to ace the test, nail the interview, deliver a great project, or drive in the game winning run in little league. We also know what it’s like to mess up the test, fail the interview, deliver a less than stellar project, and strike out with the bases loaded.
I can only image what the feeling is like at the Olympics. I think that’s why it’s so easy to feel for the athletes regardless of country or sport. In some we, we are them. What they’re experiencing is what we feel, or have felt at some level, only these athletes have the magnifying lens of the entire world on them.
There’s so many lessons to learn from the athletes. The 2014 Olympics in Sochi have certainly provided plenty of lessons. I’d like to talk about four lessons from the Olympics.
1) The odds-on-favorite doesn’t always win. –  Hannah Kearney was the favorite to take the gold in the women’s freestyle skiing moguls; which she won at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. One mistake cost her the gold, and she ended up with a bronze medal. She tweeted afterwards, “Bronze feels a lot like a broken heart.” She went on to say later that she will accept the bronze for fighting, but not for perfection.
Maybe you’re the odds-on favorite. You need to give your best performance each and every time because someone right behind you is looking to beat you, and they will if you don’t perform your best. If you aren’t the favorite, this presents a tremendous opportunity. This means that anybody has a chance to achieve what they want. If you are prepared, and give your best effort, you may just end up with a gold medal, even when no one else thinks you’ll win. That’s why the underdog always has a chance.
2) Worthwhile pursuits take tremendous dedication. – Olympic athletes spend their lives training; sometimes 10 hours a day – for years. When asked if she would compete in the 2018 Olympics, Hannah Kearney said she wouldn’t because that means giving everything to skiing for the next four years and she has other dreams she wants to achieve.
We think we can have it all, we see other people spread themselves out in so many different fields. But, if you really look more closely there’s always the one thing that they achieved success with and then the other opportunities open up because of the success in that one field.They didn’t try to be a success at everything. I think that thinking slows us down because we’re trying to do everything, instead of focusing on the one thing that we’re better than anybody else at. If we can nail that and achieve success, the other opportunities will open up. What can you do better than anyone else? Do that, it’ll get you noticed and it will give you a chance to pursue other dreams.
3) Your character is always on display. – Jeremy Abbott, a four-time U.S. national figure skating champion, took a tumble on the ice and slid into the wall hard during the men’s short event. He was down for a second before he popped up and finished his routine.
While he was on the ice for that brief moment, a million things raced through his head; what do I do? do I skate over to the judges?, can I continue? I’m in a lot of pain. As those thoughts circled in his head, he heard the roar of the crowd. The crowd was pulling for him and began cheering, giving him a standing ovation.
In an interview afterwards, he said, “I heard the crowd and I had to finish for them.” He could have hung his head and skated off the ice, but he instead chose to finish. He knew his shot at a medal was over, he ended up in 15th place, but to finish what you started, even if it doesn’t go as planned shows exactly who you are as a person.
4) Make the most of your opportunity. – Noelle Pikus-Pace, missed a medal in the women’s skeleton, at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, by a tenth of a second. She wasn’t satisfied with that result, but she was pleased that she had given her best and with that she retired. She left the sport to raise a family.
After suffering a miscarriage, she decided to pursue the Olympic medal dream again, but only if her husband and two young children went with her. She spent the last few years training, and after her final run in Sochi, she was in first. The emotions poured from her as she knew she had secured a medal. She took home the silver medal and during the medal ceremony, she broke down in tears. She had made the most of her opportunity.
What are your Olympics? Maybe it’s something you’re competing in, or maybe it’s just your everyday pursuits. Can you take any of these lessons and apply them in your life to help you achieve the success you dream about?
Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: ,

Every Day is Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Every Day is Valentine's DayValentine’s Day used to bum me out, only because I was perpetually single. I used to be jealous of everyone else getting to spend that special day with their sweetheart. I thought one day, I’m going to celebrate it.

Now that I’ve been married for almost 14 years, I don’t give a hoot about Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating love. In fact, we need more of that. It can also be a good excuse to find the courage to let someone know how you feel about them. If that’s the case, tell them. Don’t wait! Life’s too short to keep it to yourself.
So, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, because to us, every day is Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day places a lot of unnecessary expectations on each other. What other holiday can give you feelings of both anxiety and guilt? That’s how the commercials try and make you feel anyway. Heaven forbid you don’t find the right present. You’ll look like a real schmuck; including to family and friends. So, it’s more about maintaining a good image, than it is about what it should really be about, which is your love for each other.
Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about stuff anyway. Presents don’t make you any more or any less loved. That’s what my wife and I have discovered. When we feel like doing something special for each other we do it. We don’t need to wait for a holiday to do that. Besides, it’s way more fun to surprise each other with thoughtful gestures throughout the year.
Don’t fall in the trap of believing you need to celebrate. You don’t need to. If Valentine’s Day is your thing, more power to you; just don’t forget the other 364 days of the year.
Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With:

A Lesson on Permission

February 4, 2014 by Leave a Comment

A Lesson on PermissionDuring my senior year of high school I tried to start a school newspaper. I found out from my English teacher, Mr. Crump, that there hadn’t been one for a number of years after a student wrote some negative things about a teacher. I thought it was a shame that we didn’t have a school paper. Mr. Crump said that if I wanted to be the editor he’d support me in bringing back a student newspaper; he would act as an adviser. This was my chance to start something special and leave my mark in the world; at least my mark on Whitnall High School.

We put the word out and soon had a staff of around 10 people ready to start a school paper. We met to talk about what we wanted the paper to be, how we’d sell ads to local businesses to pay for it, and I even found another school in our conference willing to let us print our paper there. It was going perfectly. I could already see the first edition.
We were met with resistance from the school district right off the bat. Even after I met with the Superintendent, we were kept waiting. There was always some additional piece of information he wanted. Each time we supplied it, we thought that was it. The last holdup was that he felt the paper should be printed at our school (we wouldn’t have to sell ads), but the school district would be in charge of it and have the final say over the content. I knew what that meant and I didn’t want to compromise what the paper was going to be.
Students had written articles and poems, others knew businesses ready to buy ads for the paper, other students were ready to submit their photography skills. But, after so much waiting I finally stopped trying at the end of March. I spent six months trying to get a paper started and never got anywhere. I knew it wasn’t going to happen since I was graduating in June. The district never gave us permission to start. They waited us out.
I felt badly for everyone who had committed their time and energy to the paper. Sadly, I found out how politics work. When someone with power doesn’t want to give you permission to do something, they won’t. The district was never going to support a student run paper. What I know now is that we should have gone underground and done it without the district’s permission. We had the resources to do it; we had staff, we had stories, we had a place that would allow us to print it. It was all there.
The lesson is this, if you want to do something, do it yourself. Don’t wait for permission. If you want it bad enough you will find a way. If only I had known then what I know now. Gatekeepers are disappearing and there’s more opportunity to do something without having to get permission today than there was when I was a senior in high school. So, whatever you feel is in your heart to do, go do it. The world is waiting for your gift.
Have you ever given yourself permission to do something? How did it turn out?
Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: