Archives for May 2014

Five Lessons I Learned When My Job Was Eliminated

May 27, 2014 by 2 Comments

Lessons I Learned from Being BlindsidedLast Thursday was like any other; I got up, went to work, and started my day. Mid-morning, my boss asked to see me. I walked into his office and when I turned the corner I noticed our HR Manager was there and my eyes got wide. I took a seat and was told that because of the way the business was going and job consolidation, he had eliminated my job. HR walked me through some paperwork, I packed my belongings, and was escorted out the door. I got in my car and drove home. I was in shock. 

Friday when I woke up the shock was gone and I could look at things objectively. I started to game plan my immediate future.
Here are five lessons I learned when when my job was eliminated:
1) Look at the Positive – Find what you’re grateful for and focus on that. What can you take from the experience? How does that affect you?
I was given a great opportunity while working there. I learned so many things and met so many valuable people. Being in such environment inspired me to chase a life long dream and get an MBA in Marketing along the way. It made me grow personally and professionally.  I am a different person today (I would even say a better person) than I was the day I started. I can move into my next adventure with the utmost confidence.
2) Close the Door – Don’t dwell on what happened. Stop the internal conversations with yourself. They won’t change anything. Realize, it is what it is.
The day after, my mind continued to follow tasks that were in progress and I was responsible for at work.  I realized I needed to let it go.  I was not working for them anymore, although I was excited about so many of the projects I was involved in.  I needed to close the door and move on. I had to break off my relationship with that job and put it in the past. I couldn’t start a new chapter of my life if I didn’t let go of the previous one.
3) Friends and Family Make Things Better – Don’t try to handle things by yourself. Reach out and be open to help. It’s there if you ask for it. You may be surprised how many people are there for you. Who can you rely on when things get rough?
My wife is incredibly supportive. She was able to help me see that this was the start of something even better.
My mom and sister made me feel better, reminding me of all my strengths and skills. They assured me that new opportunities were awaiting. Dad said my MBA was reason enough to grow and move on.
Calls and texts from my friends made me feel supported and cared for. I could feel the love and it helped me get through quite a difficult day. 
4) You Create Your Future – You are the architect of your life. Don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way.
Friday when I woke up I felt better. In fact, I felt free. I thought about what I would put on business cards for networking – anything I wanted! I could create the kind of future I wanted. If there was ever a time to do it, now was it!
5) Structure Your Day – Devote a certain amount of time each day to things that help you grow. For me it will be time dedicated to my job search, improving my resume, and bolstering skills that employers are looking for. I need to take advantage of my time.
Yes, I was blindsided by having my job eliminated, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get back up and move on. Getting knocked down is a part of life. It’s how you get back up that determines whether you’re in charge. It also determines what happens next. Here’s to bigger and better things ahead!
Have you ever been blindsided? How did you deal with it? What did you learn?
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Starting from Scratch

May 20, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Starting from ScratchThis past weekend I went golfing with my good friend Andy. Before hitting the course we hit the driving range. He wanted to work on my iron shots and chipping, which have been all over the place lately. So, we did what needed to be done, we started from scratch. He showed me how to swing my irons as if I’ve never golfed before. He had me start with the basics. 

The first thing he did was pull out his phone and show me photos of Ernie Els, who has a similar build to me, and showed me how he stands. That’s how I should look, he said.

He had me address the ball. When I lined up to take my shot he put a club behind my heels and asked me to step away and take a look where I was aiming. When I stepped back and looked down, my alignment was way off. There’s no way I could have hit the ball where I thought I was going to hit it.
We often think about our goals and the road ahead and we think we have a good idea of what we’re doing, but we don’t take a step back to see where we’re really aiming. That’s why when someone says something we deem as negative we get upset. They may be stating the obvious. But, it isn’t to us because they have a different perspective.
We worked on hitting the ball next. He had me take a baseball swing with the club. That’s natural for me. The club just comes around. Same thing with it when it comes in contact with the ball. It’s natural. It’s like a pendulum. If it goes up, it’ll come down and you don’t need to reinvent anything.
He asked me to toss a ball out into the range. He asked how I could do that so well. Why didn’t I drop the ball or mess up? It’s because I didn’t think about it, I just did it. When we over-think things we’re not loose, we’re tight and constricted. He gave me advice that Ernie Els uses before hit strikes the ball; he does a little wiggle of his shoulders to make sure he’s loose.
We went to practice my chipping. Again, we just let the pendulum do it’s thing. I don’t have to use my wrists to strike the ball. I form a triangle with my arms and swing the club back and forth. Further back to hit the ball farther, not so much to hit it shorter. The physics of the club will make the ball go in the air. I don’t have to worry about anything but the triangle and how far back I take the club.
When we went to the golf course, he gave me reminders before every iron shot or chipping scenario. The lesson earlier helped me put together my first complete round of golf in a while. It was the most satisfying round of golf I’ve had in a year.
If you’re stuck and you don’t know what to do and nothing seems familiar, starting from scratch might be the answer. The more you get involved in a project that doesn’t seem to be moving, start over. Re-learning what you already know might make you see things in a different way, and lead to more personal fulfillment and success.
Have you ever tried to start from scratch? What was the result?
Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: ,

The Freedom to Experiment

May 13, 2014 by 2 Comments

The Freedom to ExperimentWe’re told early on in life that we need to stay in the lines, don’t be sloppy, be neat. We can’t do things differently than others; that we need to blend in. But, if we aren’t given the chance to experiment, we’ll never know what we are capable of achieving. How do you learn to take leaps into the unknown when so much emphasis today is placed on being perfect? 

While at college, my poetry professor, Doug Flaherty, talked about how he gathered all his poems once and burned them all. This way he wasn’t attached to the work he had done. He could re-invent himself. Plus, he knew he’d write more poems so he’d soon have another portfolio.

I did this, or something like that at the time; I threw out some of my poems. I cheated a bit and kept the ones I thought were good. But, it was a symbolic gesture and I felt like I was getting rid of a part of me I didn’t need. I felt like something new was going to happen after I did that. And something did happen, I started to write good poetry. I was getting better through practice anyway, but I didn’t have to judge myself against the inferior work of my amateur self.
Another way to break free is to pretend to be someone else for a bit. When the Beatles stopped touring in 1966 they didn’t want to be Beatles anymore, so for their next album they pretended to be a different band. They could record anything they wanted without having to sound like The Beatles. It gave them the freedom to experiment and in the process they ended up creating Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Who could you pretend to be? What pseudonym would you give yourself? What would you work on?
People are going to judge you whether you try something new or not, so don’t worry about what others think. Give yourself the creative license to live life how you want.
Who knows what you’ll create when you give yourself the freedom to experiment. Life isn’t about perfection. We can try new ways of doing things, new hobbies, or new careers. We won’t be great at anything immediately but we’ll learn along the way. The journey to self-discovery is the greatest freedom we can give ourselves.

 

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: ,

Staying Focused

May 6, 2014 by 2 Comments

Staying FocusedThis past weekend I went on a golf outing with some friends. Golf is a challenging game. There are the physical components to it; you have to be lined up to the ball properly, take the proper swing, etc, but the main part of the game is mental.

Golf forces you to concentrate on the moment; the shot at hand. When I think about hitting a good shot and focus on that I can often do it. But, when I think about the previous shot or the next shot, it affects my score – negatively.

The thing about golf is, you can’t look ahead and you can’t dwell on what happened earlier. The moment before you is the only moment that exists and it’s the only moment that dictates what happens next.
Focus is also critical to have a rewarding life. If we get too hung up on the past or we think about the future too much we drift through the present, then we wonder how we ended up where we did.
In golf, the scorecard is there to remind you how well you played. For me it shows how well you focused. It shows you what you did right and what needs improvement.
I think it would be helpful to have a daily living scorecard. Each day we could see where are successes and missteps are. It could remind us to stay focused, to not get distracted. It could help us to live the moment in front of us as the most important moment there is; because in the end, it’s all we have.
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