Who Matters to You?

March 11, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Who Matters to You?I spent some time this past weekend cleaning up my Twitter account. Apparently there’s some magic formula where you can’t follow a certain amount of people more than people who follow you. So I went through the list, and decided to un-follow anyone who wasn’t providing value to me. It gave me space to follow new people; people who matter to me.

It was interesting to go through the list; some people I have a personal connection with, so those are most valuable. Then there are those that share awesome information. I enjoy reading what they post and I learn a lot from them. They were keepers.

Some people don’t tweet much. Some people just tweet garbage. I don’t need to fill my life with junk. It was easy to un-follow them.
Then there are those that I follow, but didn’t follow me back. I liken this to the person who wants to tell you everything about their life, but doesn’t want to hear anything about yours. We’ve all known these types of people. If you give your time and energy to someone and they don’t reciprocate, it’s acceptable to cut the cord. In most cases its probably necessary. You don’t need to give your time and attention to people who aren’t going to give theirs in return.
Though I was cleaning up my Twitter account, it made me think of the people I have in my life. I want the people who matter the most to have the most involvement in my life. Those that take up my energy without providing any sort of nourishment or enlightenment in return I don’t need around.
It also made me think about whether I’m adding value to others. Do I provide enough support and encouragement? I try to, but it’s something I can do better with. I will make a conscious decision to give more of myself to those who need it.
Every relationship is a two way street. If you want to grow, be happier, be inspired, be with people who make you feel those things. Don’t devote time to people who bring you down or suck the energy out of you. Be with people that matter. Be with people who allow you to be the best version of yourself. Find out who matters to you and be with them.
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4 Lessons from the Oscars on Achieving Life-Long Dreams

March 4, 2014 by Leave a Comment

4 Lessons from the Oscars on Achieving Life-Long DreamsWatching the Academy Awards I was struck by the speeches of the winners. I could sense the struggles everyone went through; the rejection, the under-appreciation, the menial jobs, the ramen noodle diets, all in the pursuit of achieving their life-long dreams.

Here are the four lessons I learned from watching the Oscars on achieving life-long dreams.
1) No one is going to hand you anything. You need to go for it yourself. Actors aren’t asked to audition, writers aren’t discovered at the coffee house, cinematographers aren’t found on Instagram. Everyone who won an Oscar, went to Hollywood and worked for it. They probably spent years perfecting their craft, at home, with their friends, at school. But, in order to do what they wanted to do, they did what they needed to; they went to endless auditions before someone said yes, they submitted countless scripts before an agent said “maybe”, they took meeting after meeting showing their work before they were asked on set. Each and every person nominated, and those not nominated, didn’t sit back and wait to be discovered. They went out and discovered who they needed to connect with in order to do the work they loved.
2) Be a role model for rejection. How many “no’s” do you think these people heard before they got a “yes?” For some, it’s hundreds of times. Can you imagine hearing “no” 500 times in a row? How do you get yourself up to go to the next audition? It didn’t mean anyone was lacking in talent. It might have been that the timing wasn’t right, something about their delivery was off, their look wasn’t right, or maybe they weren’t in front of the right audience. Eventually, someone was the first person to say “yes.”
3) Learn to sacrifice, a lot. Not many of the people in that auditorium grew up in Hollywood. It means that in order to achieve their dreams, they had to pack their bags, leave their friends and families behind and start a new life somewhere unfamiliar. It was either fail or go home. There were odd jobs, crummy apartments, loneliness. How many people get off that bus on Sunset Boulevard and end up getting back on the bus a year or two later to go back home? I’m guessing there’s 1000 of those people for every one that stays. Some got homesick, some couldn’t deal with rejection, some found out they weren’t that talented after all, some found out they have other dreams. To pursue your dreams takes a lot of personal sacrifice.
4) Success does not happen overnight. There aren’t many overnight successes. Even if they are making their first film; an entire life’s work and experience went into shaping their career. There’s a back story that we never know about. We don’t know how long someone has been working at their craft. No one achieves success overnight.
The ones who held that Oscar in their hands after their name was called, had a lot of things fall into place for them and a lot of luck, but they also put in their hard work; their blood, sweat, and tears, literally. Think of that type of dedication the next time someone tells you “no” or you feel like people should be noticing your work. Maybe you need to draw attention to yourself and all the great work you’re doing. Not everyone knows how awesome you are, yet.
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4 Lessons from the Olympics

February 18, 2014 by Leave a Comment
4 Lessons from the OlympicsWhen the world’s best compete against each other there’s so much emotion, drama, and heart that comes out, that’s why I love watching athletes perform. You can’t help but get drawn in. It’s what makes the Olympics so special.
In a way we know what it’s like to compete, because we know what it’s like to ace the test, nail the interview, deliver a great project, or drive in the game winning run in little league. We also know what it’s like to mess up the test, fail the interview, deliver a less than stellar project, and strike out with the bases loaded.
I can only image what the feeling is like at the Olympics. I think that’s why it’s so easy to feel for the athletes regardless of country or sport. In some we, we are them. What they’re experiencing is what we feel, or have felt at some level, only these athletes have the magnifying lens of the entire world on them.
There’s so many lessons to learn from the athletes. The 2014 Olympics in Sochi have certainly provided plenty of lessons. I’d like to talk about four lessons from the Olympics.
1) The odds-on-favorite doesn’t always win. –  Hannah Kearney was the favorite to take the gold in the women’s freestyle skiing moguls; which she won at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. One mistake cost her the gold, and she ended up with a bronze medal. She tweeted afterwards, “Bronze feels a lot like a broken heart.” She went on to say later that she will accept the bronze for fighting, but not for perfection.
Maybe you’re the odds-on favorite. You need to give your best performance each and every time because someone right behind you is looking to beat you, and they will if you don’t perform your best. If you aren’t the favorite, this presents a tremendous opportunity. This means that anybody has a chance to achieve what they want. If you are prepared, and give your best effort, you may just end up with a gold medal, even when no one else thinks you’ll win. That’s why the underdog always has a chance.
2) Worthwhile pursuits take tremendous dedication. – Olympic athletes spend their lives training; sometimes 10 hours a day – for years. When asked if she would compete in the 2018 Olympics, Hannah Kearney said she wouldn’t because that means giving everything to skiing for the next four years and she has other dreams she wants to achieve.
We think we can have it all, we see other people spread themselves out in so many different fields. But, if you really look more closely there’s always the one thing that they achieved success with and then the other opportunities open up because of the success in that one field.They didn’t try to be a success at everything. I think that thinking slows us down because we’re trying to do everything, instead of focusing on the one thing that we’re better than anybody else at. If we can nail that and achieve success, the other opportunities will open up. What can you do better than anyone else? Do that, it’ll get you noticed and it will give you a chance to pursue other dreams.
3) Your character is always on display. – Jeremy Abbott, a four-time U.S. national figure skating champion, took a tumble on the ice and slid into the wall hard during the men’s short event. He was down for a second before he popped up and finished his routine.
While he was on the ice for that brief moment, a million things raced through his head; what do I do? do I skate over to the judges?, can I continue? I’m in a lot of pain. As those thoughts circled in his head, he heard the roar of the crowd. The crowd was pulling for him and began cheering, giving him a standing ovation.
In an interview afterwards, he said, “I heard the crowd and I had to finish for them.” He could have hung his head and skated off the ice, but he instead chose to finish. He knew his shot at a medal was over, he ended up in 15th place, but to finish what you started, even if it doesn’t go as planned shows exactly who you are as a person.
4) Make the most of your opportunity. – Noelle Pikus-Pace, missed a medal in the women’s skeleton, at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, by a tenth of a second. She wasn’t satisfied with that result, but she was pleased that she had given her best and with that she retired. She left the sport to raise a family.
After suffering a miscarriage, she decided to pursue the Olympic medal dream again, but only if her husband and two young children went with her. She spent the last few years training, and after her final run in Sochi, she was in first. The emotions poured from her as she knew she had secured a medal. She took home the silver medal and during the medal ceremony, she broke down in tears. She had made the most of her opportunity.
What are your Olympics? Maybe it’s something you’re competing in, or maybe it’s just your everyday pursuits. Can you take any of these lessons and apply them in your life to help you achieve the success you dream about?
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A Lesson on Permission

February 4, 2014 by Leave a Comment

A Lesson on PermissionDuring my senior year of high school I tried to start a school newspaper. I found out from my English teacher, Mr. Crump, that there hadn’t been one for a number of years after a student wrote some negative things about a teacher. I thought it was a shame that we didn’t have a school paper. Mr. Crump said that if I wanted to be the editor he’d support me in bringing back a student newspaper; he would act as an adviser. This was my chance to start something special and leave my mark in the world; at least my mark on Whitnall High School.

We put the word out and soon had a staff of around 10 people ready to start a school paper. We met to talk about what we wanted the paper to be, how we’d sell ads to local businesses to pay for it, and I even found another school in our conference willing to let us print our paper there. It was going perfectly. I could already see the first edition.
We were met with resistance from the school district right off the bat. Even after I met with the Superintendent, we were kept waiting. There was always some additional piece of information he wanted. Each time we supplied it, we thought that was it. The last holdup was that he felt the paper should be printed at our school (we wouldn’t have to sell ads), but the school district would be in charge of it and have the final say over the content. I knew what that meant and I didn’t want to compromise what the paper was going to be.
Students had written articles and poems, others knew businesses ready to buy ads for the paper, other students were ready to submit their photography skills. But, after so much waiting I finally stopped trying at the end of March. I spent six months trying to get a paper started and never got anywhere. I knew it wasn’t going to happen since I was graduating in June. The district never gave us permission to start. They waited us out.
I felt badly for everyone who had committed their time and energy to the paper. Sadly, I found out how politics work. When someone with power doesn’t want to give you permission to do something, they won’t. The district was never going to support a student run paper. What I know now is that we should have gone underground and done it without the district’s permission. We had the resources to do it; we had staff, we had stories, we had a place that would allow us to print it. It was all there.
The lesson is this, if you want to do something, do it yourself. Don’t wait for permission. If you want it bad enough you will find a way. If only I had known then what I know now. Gatekeepers are disappearing and there’s more opportunity to do something without having to get permission today than there was when I was a senior in high school. So, whatever you feel is in your heart to do, go do it. The world is waiting for your gift.
Have you ever given yourself permission to do something? How did it turn out?
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I’m on Vacation or How to Reduce Stress

January 28, 2014 by Leave a Comment

I'm on Vacation or How to Reduce StressThere are days that are filled with challenges and you can’t wait to get home. We’ve all been there. But when those days turn into weeks, and even months, something’s got to give. A number of years ago, at one of my former jobs, I was going through some pretty stressful days at work. The stress took its toll on me; I was cranky, had a negative attitude, and it was messing with my health (physically, mentally, and spiritually). My wife could see the effect work was having on me, so she came up with a plan that completely changed everything.

Her idea was this; once I left work, I was on vacation. That’s what I had to tell myself. Each night and weekend was a chance to relax and not worry about work. After all, when you’re on vacation you don’t think about those things that bring you down; you only think about enjoying those precious few hours of vacation that you have. Because of that, we were able to really enjoy our time together.  
This way of thinking got me through many difficult days. No matter what, I was only a few hours away from being on vacation. The feeling when you walk out of the building knowing you’re on vacation can’t be beat. At the time, it also gave me the strength to hold on until I was able to transfer to a different division within the company; one with a lot less stress.
It’s so much easier to be yourself when you’re not stressed. We’re meant to live a life of passion and purpose. It doesn’t meant that we won’t have challenges or disappointments, but we need to be able to find a way to keep plugging away, even when it feels like we can’t. We can’t give up hope. For me, taking a vacation every night was the best medicine there was.
Have you ever tried this tactic? Is there anything else that’s worked for you? How do you find the strength to make it through your challenging days?
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Choose Your Own Adventure

January 21, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Choose Your Own AdventureRemember those Choose Your Own Adventure  books when we were kids? You would get to a crucial point in the story and you would be left with a decision to make because you couldn’t continue until you picked one of the two options presented (technically option three was you could stop reading). The options would be something like, “to open the door turn to page 39” or “to run up the stairs turn to page 51.” What to do? What to do? You thought about it, made your decision, and flipped the pages to see what would happen next.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about those books and saying to myself, “isn’t life just a constant choose your own adventure story?” Only now our decisions have more consequences than just reading a different part of a story. Yet, with these seemingly important decisions, we routinely do the same thing over and over without really thinking about it. Then when things don’t turn out how we want them to, we’re surprised. We end up in jobs and relationships that don’t satisfy us when we don’t think enough about what we want.

There have been plenty of times I’ve said to myself, “I should have known better.” If I had taken some time to think about what I was doing I might have chosen a better option. I’m not talking about “do you want soup or salad?” I’m talking about big life decisions. I think I’m going to try something new and have a monthly assessment of where I’m at with my life and where I want to go and see what decisions I need to make in order to get there. (Maybe I’ll discover it needs to be weekly, that’s part of the fun of trying this, who knows where this will take me).

What page do you want to turn to in your life story? What will you do to assess the decisions you need to make in order to get there?

Here’s to happy and fulfilling adventures!

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The Consequences of Taking Short Cuts

January 14, 2014 by Leave a Comment

The Consequences of Taking Short CutsI’m sure we’ve all been assigned some tasks that end up being boring or seemingly unimportant. If you took a few shorts cuts no one would really know, would they? Why exert your full effort if you don’t need to, right? That’s the wrong attitude to have. There are always consequences. If you’re assigned to do something you should always do it with complete commitment.

Why is this so important? I’ll share two incidents; one from the pages of history and one recent story. 

On April 14, 1865, Police Officer John Parker was assigned to guard President Lincoln and the First Lady while they attended a play at Ford’s Theatre. As soon as the Lincolns got settled in their box, Parker left his post so he could watch the play and left the President unattended. Because of that decision, John Wilkes Booth had no problem walking into President Lincoln’s box and shooting him later that night.  
Recently, a friend of mine dropped me off at the airport for an early flight. Instead of going back home he decided to go into work. He’s the Building Security Manager for a large bank. When he arrived at the bank at 5:15 a.m., he discovered that one of the guards was missing. He found out that the guard had just left, although the guard was supposed to be on duty until 6:00 a.m. when the shift change occurs. It turned out that the guard did this often and was fired later that day.
Though both stories are security related, they apply to any circumstance. You never know when you’ll be needed or who will watch you when you least expect it. So, always give your full effort in all you do. Short cuts are only a short term benefit; your integrity is always on display.
This also shows how we’re all connected. What we do, or don’t do, affects other people’s lives. If Officer Parker had not abandoned his post history may have been different. If I hadn’t gone on an early flight my friend might not have offered to drive me to the airport and he would not have gone in to work early. The guard would still be employed and would still be leaving work early.
Today the Secret Service protects the President and there’s someone more responsible guarding the bank.
We never know what the consequences of our decisions will be, but one thing’s for sure; if you take short cuts your actions could have long lasting ramifications.
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