My work colleague bumped into another person at work when she was leaving the office we share and screamed when they collided. When my colleague came back she mentioned how when things startle her it makes her feel better to make a loud noise. She then reminded me of the story I told her about the fire extinguisher.
A number of years ago my sister was selling her house and stayed with my wife and me for a while. One day my wife and I were watching TV when my sister stepped into the living room and casually asked, “Where do you keep your fire extinguisher? Your toaster is on fire.”
I said, “I think it’s under the sink.” I got up, with no urgency, and walked to the kitchen, opened the cabinet underneath the sink and found it. I took it out and started reading the instructions. When I figured out how it worked I pointed it at the toaster and the flames jumping from it that were almost to the cabinets above it. I pulled the nozzle and the fire retardant foam quickly put out the fire.
People I share this story with are amazed at how casually my sister and I reacted. We were both cool and calm under what most people would assume to be a frightening moment.
I have always reacted to such things in an unemotional way. It’s a part of my nature, as it is my sister’s, but how did we get this way?
Here are four lessons on how to remain calm when your toaster (or anything else) is on fire:
1) Get the facts – It’s difficult to make a decision or react to what the real issue is if it’s clouded in emotion or judgments. You can’t fix things without knowing what the facts are, without the added flowery interpretation.
When I worked at AT&T I’d often get customers calling in to complain about something with their service, like the phone isn’t working, or their bill is screwed up. I would ask for specifics about what the issue was. This leads to lesson number two.
2) Ask Questions – The more questions you ask the closer you can get to pinpointing the issue. Most people tend to give you what they want to tell you. What’s important to them and how they feel. But, how they feel doesn’t affect how you need to approach things. Going back to my AT&T days a customer saying they don’t have dial tone on the phone in 2nd floor office is different than my phone doesn’t work.
3) Remain Objective – People have a tendency to exaggerate things. They bring their biases and past history into situations and give you their version of things. You can listen to what they say, but you need to strip away everything but the key details in order to get to the truth.
You need to remain non-judgmental. Once you label something, you approach in an entirely different way.
4) Don’t Get Emotionally Attached – We want to empathize with others, but we can’t get upset with them or excited. We need to help them, by taking a step back. When you are emotional you don’t think clearly. When you are faced with a crisis or conflict you need to be able to think clearly.
Think about it as if you’re an outside observer. If you look at it as though you have nothing to gain or lose you won’t be attached to it.
Is there something you do to keep yourself calm when chaos or conflict rears its ugly head? Share your comments and let’s help each other remain calm the next time we face it.
Very good points. Acting instead of reacting helps solve and save situations. There’s always time to freak out–later. It can be hard to take that mental (or physical) step back sometimes, but as you’ve shown above, it can be essential in helping figure things out and get people, including yourself, what they need.
Becky B recently posted…“I Didn’t Read the Article, But…”
Thanks Becky! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Reacting is generally not good, unless you have a dodge ball thrown at you. Then it’s good.
While reading I was wondering if the kitchen was burning down while you casually read the instructions. Thankfully you we’re able to get it out in the knick of time. I too have endured fire, yet this one was out of my control. I just wrote about it today.
chris rubenstein recently posted…High Rise Apartment Fire – My Brush with Death
Hi Chris, My situation wasn’t life-threatening like yours. The flames were just flickering against the bottom of the cabinet when I got there. Glad I knew where my fire extinguisher was and that it was working. Glad you were alright. It’s a good thing that we all have cell phones now, so it’s much easier to call for help.
Very good points. Acting instead of reacting helps solve and save situations. There’s always time to freak out–later. It can be hard to take that mental (or physical) step back sometimes, but as you’ve shown above, it can be essential in helping figure things out and get people, including yourself, what they need.
Thanks for reading! Yes, you’re right. It’s better to act instead of react to situations because it’s more constructive. And, as you point out, there’s always time to freak out later. 🙂