Here’s to the 20 Year Anniversary I Didn’t Celebrate

December 9, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Here's to the 20 Year Anniversary I Didn't CelebrateI went to visit some friends who work at AT&T at the very building where I started my career with the company, back when they were known as Ameritech. 10 days earlier some of my former colleagues celebrated their 20 year anniversary with the company.

I was a little jealous. I wasn’t able to participate and celebrate with them because my job was downsized eight years ago. I felt I should be celebrating with them. The 20 year anniversary made me think about what might have been.
It was great to see so many people that I hadn’t seen in a while, 15 years in some cases! As I walked around the office, which hadn’t changed at all since I started there 20 years ago, I realized that what I wanted was the status that being someplace for 20 years earns you. It shows commitment, dedication, and a certain level of respect. It was an ego feeder.
I had no reason to be jealous. Although life has taken me in different directions, I am much better off now than if I had still been there. In the eight years since I’ve parted ways with AT&T I’ve found a new career in marketing, even earning an MBA along the way. I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now. And I wouldn’t be as fulfilled. Life is much richer.
Instead of looking at what might have been, look at what is. Now is the only moment that matters. Yesterday is a story that can’t be re-written and the sooner we let go of what was, the sooner we get to appreciate everything that today holds. My visit was a good reminder of that.
Here’s to the 20 year anniversary I didn’t celebrate and here’s to today!
Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With:

7 Steps to Become a Learning Machine

December 2, 2014 by Leave a Comment
7 Steps to Become a Learning MachineIn my last post I wrote about finding the motivation to learn something new. Once you have the motivation, how do you do actually go about learning?
There are three different ways to go about it; some people learn by listening, some by watching, some by doing. This is how school is set up. A teacher stands in front of class and lectures about a subject, writes on the board, and then has you work on it. But, how do you go further than that? How do you go from memorizing something to becoming intimately familiar with it?
Here are 7 steps to become a learning machine:
1) Model someone successful – Who can you model yourself after? Find someone who has done it before, with the kind of success you admire. How did they start? How did they learn? What were their breakthroughs to improvement? If you can learn shortcuts that will help you avoid their mistakes it might save you some frustration.
When I was learning to write songs, I copied what my heroes did. I tried to write songs like them. Listening back now I can still hear the influences – The Beatles’ “She’s a Woman”, Fats Domino’s “Walking to New Orleans”, or Roy Orbison’s “Only the Lonely”. I was learning how to craft songs like they did, but eventually I developed my own style. This also leads us to number two.
2) Model everyone – When I was trying to be a better baseball player as a kid, I tried to model my swing after dozens of major league players. I knew how everyone on the Milwaukee Brewers batted, along with others from the Royals, Yankees, Angels, Red Sox, and anyone else whose swing I liked.
By trying to copy how others players stepped up to the plate, approached their at bat, and swung at pitches, I could find out what worked and what didn’t work for me. Eventually I settled on a cross between Paul Molitor and Dave Winfield. Not that I was trying to be them, but what they did worked for me.
Today, I golf instead of play baseball, but I use the same philosophy. I model my swing after Ernie Els (because we’re about the same body type) and Inbee Park (because she reminds me to be fluid and take my time). Two different swings, but I can take something from each to make it my own.
Try everything you can to find out what works for you.
3) Read – This goes without saying. Read all you can about a subject; everything from the masters to people who might not be famous but have found great hacks to become skillful.
Make sure you mark up the book, take notes, jot down reminders or ideas as you read. If what you read just blows you away, re-read it. There will be a lot you missed the first time around. The lessons that resonated with you the first time will get stuck deeper in your head and you may look at other points differently.
4) Learn the basics first – We often expect expert results when we haven’t even achieved beginner’s skills. You need to learn to crawl before you can walk. It’s the same principle.
If you look at anyone who goes through a slump or tries to re-energize what they’re doing they always go back to the fundamentals. You’ll hear this in sports a lot.
The basics are the foundation on which you can go off in different directions, maybe in places no one else has ever gone before. But, but before that happens you need to understand the fundamentals.
5)  Practice – It takes time to learn something. We’re not going to be good right away, yet we are devastated when we aren’t. Instant gratification cheats us out of proper development time. I think our ego gets in the way of this. We expect to be good and we want to show others we know what we’re doing. We want to do this before we’ve put our time in. That’s what “paying your dues” is all about.
When you first try to learn something you’ll probably suck at it. That’s okay. Everyone starts out the same way. Give yourself permission to try something without having to be perfect at it.
We look at professionals and think they burst onto the scene overnight or they have natural talent that they didn’t have to work on. It may even be portrayed that way in the media. That’s false advertising. Those people spent countless hours practicing their skills before they got any sort of notoriety.
Nobody sees the sacrifice that went into developing their craft. Nobody sees the musician practicing scales at all hours of the day and night, or the swimmer doing laps at 4:00 am, or the baseball player at the batting cage all winter long, but we do see the concert, the Olympic Medal, and the home run to win the game.
Without those private hours of practice those public moments of glory would never have happened. They couldn’t happen. So, don’t take practice lightly, it’s your building block to personal greatness.
6) Never think you’re done learning – No matter how good you are at something, you’re never an expert. This keeps your mind open to continuous learning. Once you think you’ve mastered something you are closed off to new ideas about it.
Think of yourself as an explorer. There’s always something new to discover. With all you know, there’s so much more you don’t know. You needn’t look any further than the library. There’s so much information that’s written that it’s physically impossible to read everything out there and know everything there is to know. You’ll never know it all, so keep your mind open.
7) Share your expertise – When you share what you know it keeps you on your toes. It reemphasizes what you know (or maybe don’t know – re-read point #6) but it also allows you to see it from the vantage point of the person who is just learning.
Teaching also takes us back to each of the other six points mentioned. It can re-introduce you to the fundamentals, it can bring back memories of the people you modeled, and you may find something new to read. Sharing what you know allows you to experience learning all over again.
What steps have you taken to become a learning machine? Are there any steps that you use that I didn’t mentioned? What are they and how do they work for you?
Here’s to becoming a learning machine!
Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: , ,

The Difference Between Pros and Amateurs

September 9, 2014 by Leave a Comment

The Difference Between Pros & AmateursI play golf maybe once a week. My goal is to break 90, but I’m struggling to accomplish that. At times I’m getting closer, others it’s far off. I also have to take into account that the golf season in Wisconsin is six months long. By the time spring rolls around, I’m rusty and it takes months to get my swing back.

I was watching one of the PGA events on TV recently and the pro golfers were out practicing every element of their game before playing their round. They spend hours practicing before competing in a tournament, not to mention the practice rounds earlier in the week to get a feel for the course.

I go out once a week (without having practiced) expecting to play a flawless game. That’s an unrealistic expectation. In order to go out and perform at a high level I should practice the skills to get me to a place where that is possible. Sure, the stars may align and everything could go my way, but odds are not in my favor.
If we want to become good at something we need to practice. That’s the difference between pros and amateurs. Pros practice to keep up their mastery. Amateurs work to get to a certain level of comfort and once that is achieved practice is forgotten.
There are things I’m good at. I’ve spent my time to develop those skills. We all have talents that we’ve honed with practice. Lots of it. Malcolm Gladwell has stated that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something. We can’t expect to be great at something without putting in that sort of time commitment.
What about those people who look like things come effortlessly to them? The truth is it’s not natural talent. It took determination and hard work. Respect the time and effort they devoted to their talent. We didn’t see them struggle, sweat, and work when no one was watching. We see the results. Looking at the box score is looking at the result, Earning a degree is a result.
High achievers sacrificed a lot. They could have used those 10,000 hours to party with friends or watch TV, but they didn’t.
Think of the things you’re good at. How much time did you devote to gain that level of expertise? More than you think. If you don’t spend the time to get better, you can’t expect to go pro.
Filed Under: Life Lessons, Motivation Tagged With: , ,

How to Keep Your Self-Talk Positive

July 1, 2014 by 4 Comments
How to Keep Your Self-Talk PositiveScience has shown that we have anywhere from 30,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day, which means we are bombarded with self-talk every minute we’re awake. How do we allow ourselves to remain positive when there’s so much coming at us?
It isn’t easy, but in order for us to give our best we need to remain positive.
Here are four tips I use to keep my self-talk positive:
1) Look at your strengths. You need to know what your strengths are. If you don’t know what they are, write them down. Be honest. What have you accomplished successfully in the past? What made you successful? You still posses the talent to be able to do it again. When you know your strengths it also builds confidence, and confidence is a powerful attribute to have.
2) Look at your “secret sauce.” What makes you unique? What makes you stand out? Do you have a skill or talent that not many people have? Look at your intangibles. More often than not, those are the things that will set you apart from the rest of the crowd. When you know what your “secret sauce” is, flaunt it every opportunity you have.
3) Look at the long-term goals. Thomas Edison found 1,000 ways not to make the incandescent light bulb. How many times do we give up when things don’t go our way immediately? Last year, Nicki Minaj gave a contestant great advice after they got rejected during an audition on American Idol. Minaj told the discouraged contestant, “Do you know how many times we’ve been told no? (referring to the judges}. We heard 1,000 no’s before we got a yes. You leave here and hold your head up. If you want it bad enough you keep working until you get to yes.”
4) Focus on pleasing yourself. This isn’t being selfish. It’s beneficial for everyone who comes in contact with you. Look at what makes you happy. If I’m trying to please someone else, or live up to their expectation of who I am, I can’t be the best version of myself I can be. It doesn’t matter if no one else gets you, if you get you, others eventually will. Then they’ll wonder how you do it.
Make sure the conversation with yourself is positive and reinforcing. We can’t completely avoid negative self-talk. It’s bound to creep in, but we can keep it to a minimum if we try. What you say to yourself (and think about yourself) determines how you will succeed. What is your self-talk?

 

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: , ,

How to Build Momentum

June 3, 2014 by Leave a Comment
How to Build MomentumI’ve been networking with at least one person for eight out of the last 11 days since my job was eliminated. It’s been good to connect with people who have offered their advice, support, and friendship. I’ve come back after each meeting with a burst of energy which carries me into the next day.
I feel I’m building on the previous days events. What I really need to do now is implement the things I’ve been talking about for the past 11 days. I sometimes think, “where do I start?” The answer is – anywhere. It doesn’t matter where you begin as long as you start something.
Start with something small. There’s a trick I use sometimes to write. I’ll say I’ll only spend the next 15 minutes writing. Then, once I’m writing, I’ll be so into it that I’ll cruise right passed the 15 minute mark easily. Surely, we can all find 15 minutes to spare. After all, 15 minutes is only 15 minutes.
Momentum is created little by little. The great thing about momentum is you don’t want to stop once you start. Jerry Seinfeld has a great method to keep the momentum going called Don’t Break the Chain. You mark an “X” each day on a calendar you finish your task. After a few days you’ll have a chain. The goal is to not break the chain. That’s how you get better, and getting better leads to success.
If we build momentum there’s no telling where that can take us. But one thing is for certain, we will be better tomorrow because of the actions we take today.
What tricks do you use to build momentum?
Filed Under: Life Lessons, Motivation Tagged With: ,

Five Lessons I Learned When My Job Was Eliminated

May 27, 2014 by 2 Comments

Lessons I Learned from Being BlindsidedLast Thursday was like any other; I got up, went to work, and started my day. Mid-morning, my boss asked to see me. I walked into his office and when I turned the corner I noticed our HR Manager was there and my eyes got wide. I took a seat and was told that because of the way the business was going and job consolidation, he had eliminated my job. HR walked me through some paperwork, I packed my belongings, and was escorted out the door. I got in my car and drove home. I was in shock. 

Friday when I woke up the shock was gone and I could look at things objectively. I started to game plan my immediate future.
Here are five lessons I learned when when my job was eliminated:
1) Look at the Positive – Find what you’re grateful for and focus on that. What can you take from the experience? How does that affect you?
I was given a great opportunity while working there. I learned so many things and met so many valuable people. Being in such environment inspired me to chase a life long dream and get an MBA in Marketing along the way. It made me grow personally and professionally.  I am a different person today (I would even say a better person) than I was the day I started. I can move into my next adventure with the utmost confidence.
2) Close the Door – Don’t dwell on what happened. Stop the internal conversations with yourself. They won’t change anything. Realize, it is what it is.
The day after, my mind continued to follow tasks that were in progress and I was responsible for at work.  I realized I needed to let it go.  I was not working for them anymore, although I was excited about so many of the projects I was involved in.  I needed to close the door and move on. I had to break off my relationship with that job and put it in the past. I couldn’t start a new chapter of my life if I didn’t let go of the previous one.
3) Friends and Family Make Things Better – Don’t try to handle things by yourself. Reach out and be open to help. It’s there if you ask for it. You may be surprised how many people are there for you. Who can you rely on when things get rough?
My wife is incredibly supportive. She was able to help me see that this was the start of something even better.
My mom and sister made me feel better, reminding me of all my strengths and skills. They assured me that new opportunities were awaiting. Dad said my MBA was reason enough to grow and move on.
Calls and texts from my friends made me feel supported and cared for. I could feel the love and it helped me get through quite a difficult day. 
4) You Create Your Future – You are the architect of your life. Don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way.
Friday when I woke up I felt better. In fact, I felt free. I thought about what I would put on business cards for networking – anything I wanted! I could create the kind of future I wanted. If there was ever a time to do it, now was it!
5) Structure Your Day – Devote a certain amount of time each day to things that help you grow. For me it will be time dedicated to my job search, improving my resume, and bolstering skills that employers are looking for. I need to take advantage of my time.
Yes, I was blindsided by having my job eliminated, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get back up and move on. Getting knocked down is a part of life. It’s how you get back up that determines whether you’re in charge. It also determines what happens next. Here’s to bigger and better things ahead!
Have you ever been blindsided? How did you deal with it? What did you learn?
Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: , ,

Starting from Scratch

May 20, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Starting from ScratchThis past weekend I went golfing with my good friend Andy. Before hitting the course we hit the driving range. He wanted to work on my iron shots and chipping, which have been all over the place lately. So, we did what needed to be done, we started from scratch. He showed me how to swing my irons as if I’ve never golfed before. He had me start with the basics. 

The first thing he did was pull out his phone and show me photos of Ernie Els, who has a similar build to me, and showed me how he stands. That’s how I should look, he said.

He had me address the ball. When I lined up to take my shot he put a club behind my heels and asked me to step away and take a look where I was aiming. When I stepped back and looked down, my alignment was way off. There’s no way I could have hit the ball where I thought I was going to hit it.
We often think about our goals and the road ahead and we think we have a good idea of what we’re doing, but we don’t take a step back to see where we’re really aiming. That’s why when someone says something we deem as negative we get upset. They may be stating the obvious. But, it isn’t to us because they have a different perspective.
We worked on hitting the ball next. He had me take a baseball swing with the club. That’s natural for me. The club just comes around. Same thing with it when it comes in contact with the ball. It’s natural. It’s like a pendulum. If it goes up, it’ll come down and you don’t need to reinvent anything.
He asked me to toss a ball out into the range. He asked how I could do that so well. Why didn’t I drop the ball or mess up? It’s because I didn’t think about it, I just did it. When we over-think things we’re not loose, we’re tight and constricted. He gave me advice that Ernie Els uses before hit strikes the ball; he does a little wiggle of his shoulders to make sure he’s loose.
We went to practice my chipping. Again, we just let the pendulum do it’s thing. I don’t have to use my wrists to strike the ball. I form a triangle with my arms and swing the club back and forth. Further back to hit the ball farther, not so much to hit it shorter. The physics of the club will make the ball go in the air. I don’t have to worry about anything but the triangle and how far back I take the club.
When we went to the golf course, he gave me reminders before every iron shot or chipping scenario. The lesson earlier helped me put together my first complete round of golf in a while. It was the most satisfying round of golf I’ve had in a year.
If you’re stuck and you don’t know what to do and nothing seems familiar, starting from scratch might be the answer. The more you get involved in a project that doesn’t seem to be moving, start over. Re-learning what you already know might make you see things in a different way, and lead to more personal fulfillment and success.
Have you ever tried to start from scratch? What was the result?
Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: ,

The Freedom to Experiment

May 13, 2014 by 2 Comments

The Freedom to ExperimentWe’re told early on in life that we need to stay in the lines, don’t be sloppy, be neat. We can’t do things differently than others; that we need to blend in. But, if we aren’t given the chance to experiment, we’ll never know what we are capable of achieving. How do you learn to take leaps into the unknown when so much emphasis today is placed on being perfect? 

While at college, my poetry professor, Doug Flaherty, talked about how he gathered all his poems once and burned them all. This way he wasn’t attached to the work he had done. He could re-invent himself. Plus, he knew he’d write more poems so he’d soon have another portfolio.

I did this, or something like that at the time; I threw out some of my poems. I cheated a bit and kept the ones I thought were good. But, it was a symbolic gesture and I felt like I was getting rid of a part of me I didn’t need. I felt like something new was going to happen after I did that. And something did happen, I started to write good poetry. I was getting better through practice anyway, but I didn’t have to judge myself against the inferior work of my amateur self.
Another way to break free is to pretend to be someone else for a bit. When the Beatles stopped touring in 1966 they didn’t want to be Beatles anymore, so for their next album they pretended to be a different band. They could record anything they wanted without having to sound like The Beatles. It gave them the freedom to experiment and in the process they ended up creating Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Who could you pretend to be? What pseudonym would you give yourself? What would you work on?
People are going to judge you whether you try something new or not, so don’t worry about what others think. Give yourself the creative license to live life how you want.
Who knows what you’ll create when you give yourself the freedom to experiment. Life isn’t about perfection. We can try new ways of doing things, new hobbies, or new careers. We won’t be great at anything immediately but we’ll learn along the way. The journey to self-discovery is the greatest freedom we can give ourselves.

 

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life Lessons Tagged With: ,

The World Doesn’t Owe You Anything

April 8, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The World Doesn't Owe You AnythingI went through a phase in my life where I was frustrated by my lack of success. I thought, “When I’m discovered, then things will be different.” When I learned the truth that the world is never going to discover me. It made it easier to deal with. I was waiting for the world to hand me something just because I wanted it. Even if I hadn’t really earned it. (There’s also another lesson in there about how you define success, but I’ll save that for another time.)
The reality is, that the world doesn’t owe me anything. It doesn’t owe you anything. But, here’s the catch, once you stop waiting around to be discovered and you put in the effort to do your best, at whatever it is you are good at, the universe will conspire to help you.
It’s funny how when you attempt to make a change, other people will cross your path seemingly by accident or coincidence that can help you reach the next step in your development or journey. This doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because it needs to happen.
So, while you’re waiting around complaining that people aren’t giving you a break, or that you aren’t getting noticed at work or in your industry, step back and think about what you are doing to change that.
It’s critical to make your intention known. Do others know what your goals are? When you meet someone, do you tell them what you’re working on? They could end up being a huge support, or they could know someone who might be a valuable resource for you.
You need to “make” people discover you. They aren’t looking for you on purpose. There are people that want what you have to offer, but you need to figure out a way to get in front of them.
If you’re a writer and the rejection letters from agents and publishers are piling up higher than the snow during a Polar Vortex, do you let that stop you? No, you self-publish your work. You give it life beyond a file folder on your computer. If you’re a musician with dreams of playing huge arenas, you start playing small clubs or coffee houses. You put your songs on iTunes. You don’t wait for permission to do it, you do it.
Do you meet with others who are doing what you want to do? Do you belong to groups in your industry or profession? It’s important to be around others who share the same vision that you do and know what it’s like to go through what you’re going through. Not only do you learn a lot, but they inspire you as well. You may even inspire someone yourself. Think about that!
Magical things will happen when you put yourself out there. You’re rewarded for sticking your neck out there. When you do that, the universe knows that you are serious about your goals and that’s when the universe sets things in motion to help you.
Armed with knowledge, passion, and energy there’s nothing that will hold you back. So, what are you waiting for?
Filed Under: Life Lessons, Motivation Tagged With: ,

Hanging on to Regrets

April 1, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Hanging on to RegretsHanging on to regrets keeps us living in the past.
It’s dangerous to go back and second guess yourself; especially doing it over and over. There’s a reason you made that decision, at that time. You weren’t ready for the consequences of the other choice. That’s all.
Armed with the knowledge that you now have, you can make better decisions going forward, if you let go of what you’ve already done. Don’t worry about whether you’ll have regrets about that decision later. If the decision empowers you, do it. I believe that we often know what to do, if we take the time to listen closely to what life is trying to tell us.
Here’s an exercise to try. Write down your regrets on a piece of paper and then go outside and burn it. Have a ceremony around it. Lite the paper, watch it catch fire, and follow the smoke and ashes rise into the air. Celebrate that those regrets will no longer have any power over you.
Just thinking about it makes me feel lighter. The physical act of seeing the regrets get incinerated will feel even better.
Spring signals a new beginning. We’re already in the mindset to move forward. Now is the perfect time to leave your regrets behind and start to blossom.
Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With:
Next Page »